What's going wrong in your life that you need to talk about, but have nobody or nowhere else to do it so? from r/AskReddit
My 32nd birthday is coming up.
For someone like me, lots of dramas come around when my birthday is around the corner. Who the fuck invented birthdays?! I remember the first time I celebrated my birthday in school. I was about five. It was one of the first days when my parents separated. I remember I had to pretend everything is normal, I should act normal, happy because it was my birthday. But I was aware that my father isn't living with us anymore. He moved out. I have never ever told this story of my life to anyone before. I just let it slide whenever it emerges from where I've hidden it. In the morning of that day, I was getting ready for school. I was dressed up, wearing my P.E. uniform and my dad picked me and my brother up at home. Later that day, my mom came to school, brought the food for the whole class to celebrate my birthday. I did not cry that day. I pretended all is good.
My birthday's on Friday.
My parents are old.
Usually, I don't know where my mother is. I have a clue or an idea. Mostly likely she's with her siblings. I'm extra worried where she's at right now due to the pandemic. Also, I miss my mom lately. She's weird, odd, a little crazy but I can tell her anything. She'd get mad. Then, it'll end until she's just not anymore. The other day, I received a random message from one of my cousins asking me how my mother is doing. I DON'T KNOW. It worried me even more because it means my mom is not with them.
My father is six years older than my mother. He's seventy. Born in 1950.
Currently living in my hometown alone.
Recently, the present number of COVID-19 cases in my hometown increased. From zero to twenty, I think, as of yesterday. The municipality implemented stricter measures. One of those are senior citizens (60 year olds up) are not allowed to go out in public. They weren't given a special schedule when they can go out to run errands or buy necessities. They can't go out. Period.
I live in the city. One hundred twelve kilometres away from my hometown.
I don't know who to go home.
I woke suddenly in the middle of my sleep last night. I touched my neck and specifically felt the lumps I discovered maybe half a year ago. I never touch it when I'm conscious during the day. I ignore it. I don't want to think about it. I had Thyroidectomy in 2017. I'm very sensitive of what's going on in my neck.
I don't have health card right now. I can't afford to get sick.
Because I don't have a job.
I was laid off from my job only after 4 months because of the pandemic.
Now guess what, my previous job before that is now haunting me. Big time.
Another one that's been haunting me for months now, I feel that I got ghosted. Or being ghosted. It's very painful.
Happy Birthday to me.
P.S. There's hope. I'm not losing hope.