i am who i am.
i who is a kleptomaniac. and i who always have butterflies in my stomach.

these are the facts:

Butterflies in the stomach is a medical condition characterized by the physical sensation of a "fluttery" or "tickling" (hence butterflies) feeling in the stomach. This sensation can also be an uncontrollable physical sensation related to the body's fight or flight resonse or it can be an ineffable experience related to the psychology of love.

Some believe that this is caused by the release of epinephrine, or adrenaline when one is nervous, pulling blood away from the stomach and sending it to the muscles. This reduced blood flow, in turn, causes the stomach to temporarily shut down, and possibly the reason for reduced appetite during love sickness.

Kleptomania (Greek: κλέπτειν, kleptein, "to steal", μανία, "mania") is an inability or great difficulty in resisting impulses of stealing.

People with this disorder are compelled to steal things, generally things of little or no value, such as pens, paper clips, tape, small toys, or packets of sugar or sachets of honey. Some may not be aware that they have committed the theft.

Kleptomania was first officially recognized in the US as a mental disorder in the 1960's in the case of the state of California v. Douglas Jones.

Kleptomania is distinguished from shoplifting or ordinary theft, as shoplifters and thieves generally steal for monetary value, or associated gains and usually display intent or premeditation, while people with kleptomania are not necessarily contemplating the value of the items they steal or even the theft until they are compelled. Of all reported shoplifting, only 1% are actually kleptomaniacs.

source: wikipedia.org

sure, few people are klepto and you wouldn't meet them everyday and like me i'm really ashamed to talked about this sickness. also few people experience butteflies in their stomach.. it hurts a bit really when i feel nervous everytime i will recite in class or do my report, even when i talk to a person i'm not used to.. a stranger or something..

well, this are really facts about me.. i was really looking for my own identity back then. i have to buy clothes to say who i am to people. but know these two things that i just discovered about me is unbelivable.

well, being a klepto.. hmm... how am i going to say this to you.. err. oh i know, let me tell you first what are the things i collected. hey! don't get me wrong i'm not proud to tell you this, i'm really ashamed that this is what i do and did that i just now realize is in the category of stealing. that's why i included earlier the meaning of kleptomaiacs.

well, i these are the things that i remember.. i don't know what else's here in the house but..
a TIME magazine from school which there's a column about Utada Hikaru, a lighter from my classmate, a cigarette from my classmate (i don't even smoke!), a stainless fork from a fast food, a hair clip that i didn't return to my classmate, a hairband from my friend, a small plastic transparent bottle from my classmate.. and i don' know what else's. there was a feeling back then when i was taking up my examinition on my teachers desk and there was paper clips everywhere in her table.. i was really thinking and can't help it and really badly wanna get just one, ONE paper clip.. but i didn't get one.. well, i don't know if it's normal. i guess it ain't normal, eh?

about butterflies in my stomach.. uhmm i just recently realized that it was the exact idiom that i feel. i thought it was just some tummy problems or something but when i felt it more and more andmost of the time when i'm nervous that's when i knew that it is BUTTERFLIES!!!

i posted what's the scientific going on inside your stomach. i thought i feel that thing in my stomach was some acid or sort of.. i thought my stomach releases so much acid becuase of hormones whenever i feel nervous.

i remember a play of one group in my class.. there was this beautiful girl who always feel butterflies in her stomach whenever she was called to answer some math problems. that's when i knew.

i didn't think that there's few people people who feel this.. i even consulted my classmates if they feel the same way. they say they didn't. they only feel their hearts are pounding whenever they're nervous or some felt hands shaking.. it's really hard to have butterflies it feels soemthing like you wanna go to the bathroom or something like acidic in your stomach but not like when you're really starving, not like that.

now, besides on my fingerprints that is never identical to anybody in the world. i can say also that i'm different because of these things.

good day!

c' ' ;)